smile your alive. smile everything is okay now. smile at least your not dying. smile don't cry. smile be happy. SMILE..... they say i do. they ask i do. GOD. i can smile. but i don't want to. no one knows me. or at least i think. i don't like it here. i hate it here. i don't want anything to do with this place. i don't KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE! why can't it be simpler? i want it to be simpler. i smile. i smile. and smile. for what? at others who are more concerned about themselves? for others who have that someone who knows them? for others?

i hate the fact that i'm too smart. in fact too smart for my own good. i just want to quit. say thats it. put a fork, knife, spoon, spork- whatever- in it. and be done. i mean whats the use. i over work myself. i cant sleep becuse of my stress. i sleep during school which leads to more stress. i mess up, try to fix it, and mess up again, then reapeat...

some how. i know they care. but at the same time they don'tseem to care enough. what dose it take to have someone just give you a small hug and say 'whats wrong?' wait. they can't do that i say that i care about them. i care about them. they might be on some hard times. they could be hurt, or something. or need help.

maybe i care too much? maybe i should stop...